self-conscious

i want to sleep somewhere wild:
a rainforest, maybe,
or a canvas.

my spirit is stuttering
stop, go.
reunions scare me. what if
my mind is too loud, again?

i want to be seen in the sleek warm lines
of a brushstroke: there, deliberate,
edging into meaning.

what will i say, 
tonight?

          quiet, mind. 

          spirit, 
          speak.