summer

She tells me, watch this horror movie.
You'll feel unreal. I already feel unreal, disconnected.
Everything should be clear and bright. I'd paint straight out of the tube if I could.
So close to the colors.
So close to everything like
lying on the ground with my ear against the earth just soaking it all in--
but it's too distant, indistinct.
It's
the summer heat, pulling,
stretching everything apart into waiting.
Longing.
Hanging on the end of a word.
Trying to find
                      the edge.